April Fools

Tomorrow is the first day of April. April Fool's Day. My Grammy's birthday. The first birthday that I won't be able to call her to tell her to enjoy her day. To listen to her tell me how much she loved the card I sent her. That she read it over and over and then taped it to her refrigerator. I remember when I would go to her apartment and she had a card that I sent her one year taped to the inside of her front door. She'd see it every time she left the house or locked her door after she came in. I don't think I realized how much I really miss her until I sat down to write this. I've been missing her more lately and thinking about her more than usual.....maybe it's because her birthday has been getting closer. I know that she would only want the baby and I to be safe but I wish so badly I had been able to go home before she passed. It was too late into my pregnancy where I wasn't able to fly home to see her in those last hours. I wish she could meet my baby girl. Her first great grand child. I wish she could hold her and munchkin could look at her and give her the biggest smile. I can just see it now. I know Grammy would have cried just looking at her. She would be so incredibly happy. I know now she sees her everyday but I want to hug her and talk to her. I'm sure my alarm will go off on my phone tomorrow reminding me that it's Grammy's birthday. I'm not going to stop it. I don't think I'll ever be able to delete her phone number from my phone either. And it will be really weird going home and not taking her to lunch at Panera. Or to the grocery store to buy 10 bottles of water and 5 boxes of butter. Gosh, I love her.

I'll be thinking about you a little extra tomorrow Grammy. I hope you have an amazing birthday up there in Heaven. I know you already have everything that you could ever want. Thank God for me for sharing you with us for as long as he did. You are an amazing woman and I'm sure He's glad to have you up there with Him. Just know that we all miss you so much down here and are always keeping you close in our hearts. I love you so much.