Day 10- Something you're afraid of
Ok, I'm going to refrain from listing them all since the challenge is "something you're afraid of", not "everything you're afraid of". I touched on this in day 1's post. The thing that I'm probably most afraid of is Alzheimer's. It runs in my family. My grandma had it pretty bad. I remember going to visit her in the nursing home and it was to the point where she barely woke up for more than a minute. I knew she didn't know who I was but I'm glad I went to see her. We grew up with her, going to grandma and pop-pop's house all the time. We vacationed with them, they would take my brother and I on road trips in their big van. I still remember her chocolate chip cookies. Homemade and kept in the freezer. I make my chocolate chip cookies just like she used to and I still eat them frozen. Grandma passed away earlier this year and I know she's in a better place. Looking down on all of us, remembering sharing those chocolate chip cookies and letting us watch soap opera's with her.
My grammy was getting Alzheimer's before she passed away as well. She remembered who we all were, would ask about us and know us when we called her. She was having trouble remembering what day it was and telling time. I could see it coming and I didn't like it. I was worried she wasn't going to remember me the next time I went home to see her. Sadly, she won't be there the next time I go home. I know that she's watching us though. Sitting up there in heaven with Grandma eating chocolate chip cookies and watching us all. I know they'll be there when the baby is born, get to see her. Maybe not physically but they'll both be there.
That's the main thing that scares me. Not being able to remember who I am. Who my husband is or my family members. Not knowing where I am or what day it is. If there was a pill that I could start taking now, I'd do it. I'd make everyone I love take it now. I'll continue to pray that researchers find some sort of a cure soon. The scariest thing is that there's nothing I can do about this fear. Just live my life and hope that it doesn't touch anyone else that I love.
Friday, November 5, 2010
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Me too Gretchen. I watched my Grandma die from Alzhiemers and I am so scared of getting it too. Everytime I forget something or my Mom forgets I have a mini panic attack. It's truly a devestating disease, and heartwreching to watch a loved one go through.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my fears as well Gretchen - it runs in my dad's side of the family. He is not my biological father so I have "less" to worry about for myself and my kids, but I have watched it tear my dad apart. His dad passed away several years ago and his mom is deteriorating quickly. She has been diagnosed for quite some time now and really was having quite a go of it for a long time. Only recently - in the past 2 years I'd say - have things really started to go downhill, and quickly. She still trudges along though and even has "spots" here and there where she will remember something. I don't want to watch my dad go through the disease and I know it scares my brother terribly (he is biological).
ReplyDeleteWhat great Memories you have to hold on to !! Parkinson's runs in my family and I have a good chance of that so you are not alone. Emma will have a much better chance down the road and hopefully we can wipe these two evil things off our list in her lifetime !!! Frozen Cookies need to get right on that one. Love your challenge and your courage. Penny
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