Day 105

Today is day 105. The best 105 days of my life so far. I've been a mommy for that many days. I can hardly believe it. I know why God put me on this earth. For her. I look at that face and I know what it means to love unconditionally. I see perfection in her big blue eyes. Pure happiness to my core when she looks at me and smiles. It's unbelievable to think about that little baby growing inside my belly for 9 months. Preparing for her for 9 months. And she's finally here and no one tells you to prepare for the love you'll feel for her. No one tells you to prepare for the way your heart drops when you think something's wrong. No one tells you that nothing else will matter except for her. That your heart with feel like it's going to burst right out of your chest with love for one little, tiny baby. Maybe they did tell me....but I can't say I knew even close to what they were describing until I felt it myself. It's something that truly can't be known until it happens. I thank God every day for blessing my life so much by bringing her into it.

I've been trying to keep the baby book up to date. There's a page in the back of the book that says "A Letter from Mommy" and there is one to be written from Daddy. I haven't even tried to write it yet. I can't decide if I should write it now, 2 months ago, 2 months from now, 2 years from now, or 20 years from now. When will the words ever be right to try to describe to her how I feel? Tell her everything I wish for her. One day soon I hope I will sit down and be happy and satisfied with the words that flow onto that page. So she knows that these 105 days have been the best, most blessed days of my life. And so she knows that every single day, no matter what number, I try to make the best day of HER life.