30 Day Challenge - Day 3

Day 3-Your first love

Oops, forgot I was on day 3! Better late than never right? However, this one might not be my favorite to blog about. I'm not gonna lie and say that hubby was my first love. He is my love, my husband, my one and only. But the first....no. Granted, I knew very early on when we were dating that we'd get married, that he was "the one". I remember bringing him home for Christmas a few months after we met and we were in the mall with my mom. Hubby went to some store and my mom and I were wandering around when she randomly asked me if I was going to marry him. Automatically I said yes. I knew we'd get married. Needless to say I didn't think it would take him so darn long to make it happen!! But it happened and that's all that matters. :) There's my disclaimer. Now to attend to the topic of day 3.

We'll just call him D. Those who have known me for awhile will know who he is. Kind of a crazy story actually. In high school I was kind of obsessed with the internet. I used to go into chat rooms a lot. I had a bunch of friends who lived in other states. These were real friends, people that I honestly got to know. Well, one of these friendships turned into something more. After awhile of talking online and on the phone we decided to meet. He met my parents, my brother, he came to know my family. We were best friends. We saw each other once or twice a year, me going to visit his family or him coming to mine. We continued our friendship/romance through high school and into college. I thought about going to college where he lived but my parents were pretty against it and I didn't push the issue hard enough. We both dated other people when we got to college and we grew apart a bit. Sophomore year in college we decided to meet in NYC. Later that year our friendship was over. I am still kind of confused on how it happened. I just remember him telling me that he didn't want the 9-5 lifestyle. And apparently he thought my mind was set on living that life. I had no clue what the hell I was going to do when I got out of college. I was more worried about going out with my friends than worried about my resume. I usually let my heart guide me, not my head. Maybe it was his way of telling me he just didn't want me anymore. He needed an easy way out and that was it. I was pissed and confused and heart broken. I think maybe I talked to him once after that....maybe not at all, I can't remember exactly now.

It's funny how you think you know someone so well. You think they know YOU so well. But yet I didn't care about the 9-5 life. As long as I'm happy I don't care what I do or where I am. I don't blame him now for how he dealt with things. Everyone has a different way of handling things and if to pretend like I no longer existed helped him to handle it then so be it. It probably helped me in the end too so I can't be mad at him for how he treated me. A clean break is sometimes the best. Everything that's happened before now has shaped me to be who I am today and I wouldn't change that. I love my life and love where it's taken me. So, thank you D. Thank you for the good memories and for making it a clean break, as hard as that was at the time it was the best thing. I can do nothing now but wish him all the best for his own life and hope that he's as happy as I am. I'm pretty proud of myself too, for remembering how I felt that day sitting on my stairs crying, and for being able to forgive him and honestly wish him all the happiness in the world. 3 more minutes and this is going to be into day 4's post!